The Fat Friend

Have you ever just felt like the fat friend? I feel that way sometimes, even though I don't think my friends think of me that way, that is how I think of myself. I have friends who refer to "when I was fat" often and I am standing right there thinking "I am still fat".... so it hurts. I know it shouldn't hurt because I am this way because of my own choices, but it still hurts. I hate being the fat friend, the one that doesn't get invited out to the clubs because you might ruin the chance of your friends meeting some hot guy or the friend who doesn't get invited because I mean who wants to be seen with the fat girl. I hate walking into a store and feeling like everyone is staring at me and watching what I am picking out. I go to the gym and feel like everyone is watching me. I know that everyone is at the gym to work out however not everyone at the gym is overweight and I have been to the gym before and had people stare at me (probably one of the other reasons I want a treadmill at home). I have people tell me all the time, people at the gym really aren't looking at you, they are there working out. There is some truth to that, however they are not me at the gym 298 lb me walking into the gym in a 5'4 body..... people stare regardless of what you say it happens it truly does. I feel like people that were overweight and now are thin should realize it the most how truly hurtful it is to talk about fat people in front of them when they were once in a fat persons shoes.... I hope in my priorfatgirl life that I am not that way. I hope that when I have made it to my goal and look back on this post that I remember what it was like to be the fat girl. One so I am never there again and Two so I never make someone feel the way that I feel right now. :) One day at a time and I can do this I know I can....