Reality and the girl with a pretty face....

Reality is..... I am FAT.  I know in life we don't ever want to face reality, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes we have to.  I am trying everyday to be a better mom, a better friend and a better version of me.  It is hard though, and it gets harder when people kick you when you are already feeling down.  I joined WW 10 weeks ago, and I am trying to eat healthier and it is hard....everything we want in life is hard but we fight for what we want and I am a fighter.  2013 is my year.... and I have been kicked already.... I have had a few struggles the last few years.  The loss of someone I thought was my best friend because of my weight.  I know we can say well he is shallow and he wasn't really your friend anyway.  The truth is he was honest with me.....he didn't sugar coat the reality of the fact that I am FAT...but what hurt is he was my friend and it ruined our friendship.  Recently I was talking to someone....this person seemed Awesome.  He said something about FAT people and I realized, wow this person has seen my face but he hasn't seen me....the thing is I am Awesome, it's true... I have an awesome personality, my laugh is infectious.... I love to smile, I love to make people happy and I am probably one of the most forgiving people you will ever meet in your life... but I am a "bigger person"..... I sent this person a picture of me and that is how he classified me.  He said you have a gorgeous face and that is what attracted me to you...but I didn't realize you were a "bigger person".... I can say what an ass, but it's true.  I am a bigger person I have been for way to long.  I haven't ever truly focused on myself and taken care of me.  Truth is that I need to, I am important.  I need to do this for me and for my son so that I am here for a long time to take care of him.  I realize what this person said was so hurtful it made me feel so small.  It made me feel like I wasn't worth anyones time, and that I didn't deserve to be happy.  The truth is that I deserve to be happy.  I deserve to have someone want to spend time with me.... and if this person or my old friend didn't want to spend time with me how I am now then they don't deserve to spend time with me at all.  I am worth so much more than that.  I know I am worth more.  I will Rock 2013.....I plan to blog more often, workout more often and continue with my WW and my goal to lose 60 pounds by the time I go to Florida in June to see my sister... I can do this one day at a time.  I thank all of the assholes who tell me that I am just a girl with a pretty face because one day I will be a girl with a pretty face and a hot body and you won't see this girl even looking your way.  The sad thing about that is I am Awesome and you won't ever get to see anything beyond your shallow way of thinking...... here I am come 2013, I am not looking back ever again this is my year.